Friday, July 11, 2014

Updates.

Sorry for the long, long hiatus. Yes, I was lazy to update, or do anything for that matter. Nothing much happened since the last September. Let me see how I can summarize everything... UH, I got employed on Oct '13 and got laid off on Apr '14. I finished college on Feb '14. I'm still in the process of finishing dreadful assignments. Choir camp was on the start of May '14, and it was amazing! Grandma moved in for exactly 2 months and then moved to a nursing home because there was so much drama going on. I shall not explain that. Not to forget, it was extremely refreshing to go on a Facebook detox or a cleansing for a month. You'll see the world differently, trust me. Everyone should try it one day. I wish I could do it again. I can't now because I have so much school work and church stuff going on on Facebook, I cannot afford to do it.

But the main reason I am back here is to rant. That is right. I'm coming back to you to vent. I need to do it. Call me anything you want, but I'm going to crack under the pressure if I don't. I will not elaborate any further because it's gonna take awhile if I told you the whole story.

I have so much going on in my head I don't know how to form my thoughts into words. All mixed feelings, jumbled up and stirred. All just a bunch of thoughts turned on at the same time... It's like its happening again. The time span was also about the same. I don't know who is the problem here.

Have you wondered why you started something in the first place? If so, is your answer now still the same as before? Was quitting even an option when you first started? Then why is it the only option (besides merely holding on, surviving for the sake of it) now? Is the fight worth it? Is there a reward coming out from that struggle? Holding on. What if I let go? Am I going to regret my decision? And what if I hold on just a little longer? Is it going to be just a waste of time and effort? Have you considered if you are emotionally attached to the situation, are you willing to let go and not ignore how broken you are inside? etc. etc.

This is what is going on in my tiny head recently.

Screw being a girl.

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